yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
