My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
