just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it because I queefed?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
