If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
