okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
