is your mom at the bar?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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