you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
