Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
