Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
