Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
