During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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