I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize