If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
