we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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