he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
smell my finger.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize