If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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