that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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