my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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