Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
