How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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