How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
