Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize