Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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