yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
