So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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