So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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