so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sext me about skeletons
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
