I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize