So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
