he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
