Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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