No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
