so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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