There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
