Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
