Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
