So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
