Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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