We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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