So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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