I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
