He disabled his match.com account in front of me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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