I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
