I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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