he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
