my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
time to smoke my breakfast
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
