You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
