Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
