Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
