She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
