This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
