i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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