The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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