Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
