Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
