I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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