okay pat passed out under dana's car
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
