Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
