it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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