I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
