Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didn't notice because vodka
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
