....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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