Dual....:-)
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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