At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
