I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
